Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Hungry Hungry Hip...Patti

Have you ever been sitting at your desk, everyone is diligently working and the still silence is interrupted by a low but forceful grumble that sends everyone’s eyes scattering to the window looking for the lightening that follows a boom of thunder? No? Me either. – Actually, this WAS me. ALL day yesterday and ALL day today. My hunger pangs woke me up this morning – before my alarm clock even had a chance to be its annoying self.

It didn’t matter what I ate yesterday, the satiated feeling that should follow after you eat was playing the role of David Copperfield in his disappearing act. It started after I ate breakfast; a low calorie, (130 cal) high protein (14g) small meal. I ate around 8:10 after I had gotten into the office. I continue working and then suddenly feel this gnawing sensation right below my ribs. It’s so incredibly strong that my stomach feels like someone is squeezing all the content out and into my throat. You know that feeling when you haven’t eaten in a while and that funny stomach of yours seems to be sending an awful lot of ghrelin into your bloodstream; causing your mouth to salivate and waves of nausea hit you one after another after another until you put something in it? Yeah, that feeling. That’s what it felt like about twenty minutes after I ate breakfast. I know this because I glanced at the clock believing that at least two hours had passed because there wasn’t any way I should be this hungry. I was so wrong. Twenty minutes. In an effort to control the mindless eating that happens when you work in an office, I decided to down about 16 ounces of water immediately. I took some vitamins and it calmed my needy, rumbling stomach.

Boom. My co-worker who sits across from me, turns and says “Did anyone hear that?” I’m thinking to myself; you’re kidding, right?! I answer, “Hear what??” He looks back at his computer…I don’t say anything. I think it’s understood that it’s obviously not thunder and it’s my body that cannot be satisfied with water! RRAAAHHHH. My stomach has many hats and today, aside from its magic act, is also a super hero. Introducing you to the Pink Hulk – my stomach is not green…at least I hope it’s not because then I wouldn’t be human and I think I am human. It wants to break out of my body and go find some food. Say hi because wherever you may be reading this from, I am sure you can hear it :)

I glance at the clock again and it reads 11:26 – I think to myself, only thirty-four more minutes and then I can eat lunch. I can do it! Mind over matter, right? I take a sip of my iced coffee and it settles my hunger for a mere 30 seconds. I agonize and stare at the bottom right corner of my screen and the time is moving at the pace of a snail with chronic fatigue. It finally says 12:04 – yes I remember the specific times – and I take my lunch out from my bag and devour it within minutes. Normally I eat very slowly, but I just cannot take slow bites or even savor the taste. It’s gone within 10 minutes. I didn’t bring anything to go with my turkey and cheese, no bread sandwich. Turkey meat and cheese. I still have insane hunger pangs…I am far from satisfied. I tell myself; wait and let your stomach digest the food. It takes at least 20 minutes for your body to get the signal that you are full. – So I drink some water and wait. Why am I soooo hungry?!?! I’ve consumed 440 calories, 22 g of protein and it’s only a little past noon. I shouldn’t be hungry; I literally JUST ate. I drink some more water and it still does not get rid of the hollow feeling in my stomach. I continue drinking, refusing to give into Mr. Grumbles.

Thankfully I have meetings the rest of the afternoon and I can no longer be taunted by my hunger because I don’t have anything to eat. Just my water to sip on. Before I know it, it is past 6:30 and I decide to pack it up for the day. SO much easier to leave at a more reasonable time than 8pm when I am traveling. My hunger never subsided. All I could and can think about is how much food I just want to shove down my throat in order to silence this loud and obnoxious feeling! Why is it so impossible for me to ignore? Is there such thing as hunger hormone removal?? KIDDING…sort of. Although I constantly think about food and what I am going to eat and sometimes plan my day around what I am eating, this hunger is of a different sort. It’s like I haven’t eaten in a month hunger. The desire to eat is all I can think about!

So I head out to the grocery store to pick up trash bags and Brussels sprouts. Worst thing you can ever do is go shopping when you are hungry. Not because I will buy things that are bad for me, but because I am tempted to buy the things that are bad for me. So instead of walking the perimeter of the store – and get the two things that I needed, I walk aimlessly up and down every aisle looking at all of the food that I cannot purchase because it will add to the ever growing circumference that I call my hips. I pick up a box, look at the calories and put it down. Grab a bag and put it down. Grab another box and put it down. This continues until I have spent over an hour and a half fighting with myself, sometimes out loud – sorry to the little girl who thought I was yelling at you; not to put that item in my basket. By the time I am done shopping, I leave with 4 boxes of Keurig coffee (yet another addiction, or should I say substitution for food), a bag of Brussels sprouts and a bundle of asparagus. (Yes I forgot the damn trash bags which resulted in another trip to the grocery store today with almost the same behavior – and now I have EIGHT boxes of Keurig coffee at home. Hope you enjoy, Eric)! I get home and it’s an agonizingly long time before the Brussels sprouts are ready…I had prepare and them wait for them to roast. By the time they were done, I was famished. I devoured a half of a bag myself. Although they came out mighty delicious. Want the recipe?? Okay Okay…it’s listed below :)

After I am done eating, and am still hungry I decide to shower again – because you can’t eat in the shower. Although Kramer did on Seinfeld….hmmm. When I get out, I take my time getting ready for bed trying not to think about my noisy belly. You would think with all of the noise and contractions, that it would send signals to my abdomen muscles to shrink and tighten! But it didn’t, I checked, flub is still there :-/ I finally lay in bed with yet another glass of water and read for a little bit before going to bed.

I repeated the same thing today. My stomach is still sending me signals that I am hungry, but as you can see…If my fingers are typing, it means I cannot eat. So as I click “publish” to this blog, I am going to shut my computer off and close my eyes. Feeling accomplished that I did not give into my distracting hunger.

Pink Hulk – 0                                               
Patti – 1

Brussels Sprout Recipe:
· 1 Bag organic Brussels sprouts
· 2 Tbs Extra Virgin Olive Oil or Coconut Oil or Grapeseed Oil
· 1 Tbs Balsamic Vinegar
· Salt
· Pepper
· Garlic cloves (optional)

1.Preheat oven to 400 degrees
2.Wash Brussels sprouts
3.Cut the heads in half
4.In a bowl, combine the vinegar and oil mixture
5.Toss the halved Brussels sprouts in the mixture
6.Lay on a broil pan or an coated cookie sheet with the flat part facing down
7.Season with salt & pepper to taste; I add smoked paprika and garlic powder
8.Peel the garlic cloves and place around the Brussels sprouts for added flavor
9.Bake for 30-35 minutes or until desired colored is achieved


Health and Wellness

Love to you all,

Patti xox

1 comment:

  1. HAHAHAHA! HAHAHA!!! I think I just lost some circumference from laughing so hard! I love this blog because it's so relatable... not to just me, but a lot of people that we know. Eat MORE for breakfast... between breakfast, mid morning snack and lunch, you should be consuming 3/4 of your daily caloric intake. Words from my trainer. HAHA! Thanks for the laugh and hopefully the Pink Hulk doesn't win today! LOVE YOU!!!! xoxox